I guess this is it. 12/19/09

The year is coming to a close. And I am still here.

When I arrived back into Pikeville I took a few weeks to sit and stare out the window. Hang out with a couple of friends. Stay drunk and tend to my needs.

There was a lot of reflections in the window I guess you can say.

There for a while it was water for beer and food for liquor. I was merely a mess of reflections of a year wasted sleeping under overpasses, dingy hotel rooms, drugs, alcoholic wanderings, heart break, friend loss and the greatest things in life.

Living free.

Don't get me wrong, none of the above are bad things at all. I would never trade any of those in for the world. No loss just simply gaining.

When I got back into Pike I stayed drunk for a couple of weeks. Got my old job back at the call center Civic Development Group. And drank some more. The call center was closing down in a month so I decided to get some extra cash and see all my old work buddy's since I will probably never see them again.

Same shit. Off Track Betting. Drinking and working. I remember my last day there. I got blacked out drunk and did some shit. Made some amazingly awesome calls while drinking a Steel Reserve in my cubicle. I also remembering snorting a Oxy Contin off my cubicle in the middle of one of my last calls. A O.C. 40 to be exact.

Everyone that worked there was taking out all their agression of pent up anger bestowed upon them like an adolescent child coming home to an abusive drunk father after a bad day at school. Needless to say I enjoyed hearing it all in the background as I took calls like a fucking prank. Just like everything else in life.

A fucking prank.

I don't remember coming back to my mothers. I do remember the next morning tho.

Waking u in her living room floor. Still drunk and her telling me that I have to leave so I did.

Two days later I went back to Lexington. I had a little over four hundred dollars in my pocket and a head full of dreams. When I got to Lex shit started to happen immediately I had a place lined out with these two girls I talked to on Craigslist. But when I got to Lex that did'nt work out as planned. Then After some couch surfing I moved in with two friends on Park Ave. Danny and Andrew. And from point A to B of me moving in there instantly changed some lives.

I remember walking down the street and buying a Juke Box for twenty five dollars one day. Park Ave to be exact.

It worked.

After buying that contraction we had a few Juke Box party's and all that jazz.

Basically nothing changed tho. Staying drunk and living life.

My best friend then got to town two weeks after me. Joel.

The awesomeness was reunited once again.

Half Gallons. Shows. And public displays of fucking pent up sepparation.

I mean don't get me wrong. A lot more stuff has happened. We pushed a organ out of a moving van one night. A dog house the next night. I pissed in a girls kitchen at a party with roughly fifteen other people in it.Cracked a rib on my right side. And met a girl that I could have quite possibly fell in love with. But never again. That's why I try and not to talk to her.

Well. It is 9:31 AM. I am still drinking while everyone else sleeps. Listening to T-Rex with my Milwakee's Best Ice. Driving the van to Gainesville, FL on Thursday. Lest's see what I have left for Lexington till then.

And it seems like when people sleep. They sleep.

Now I see how I act when I am rested.

10/16/09 Indifferent

Indifferent.

That's the feeling this morning. Got a little to drunk last night. Woke up to a couple new writings that I like. And I'm going to try and send a few off today. I got my window open. It is a little cold but it feels great. I can hear the train from here. At times I wish I could be on it. Where does the line here go? I would say Elkhorn.

I am nobody out here.

Shoving shit back into my ass.

I am worse than the air I breathe.

And I would rather sleep with sinners than to lay with saints.

Watching the news every morning at 6:00 AM always makes me feel shitty. Obesity, Pop-Culture, War, Terrorism, Murder, Rape, Child Abductions (mostly in Florida for some strange reason), Eating Healthy, Lies Lies and more Lies.

Seems as if for the past 7 years now America is more curious as to what Brittney Spears wore to the Award show or Brad and Angelina Jolie's baby pictures than that of what is really going on. Or Michael Jackson's death. It's funny how it took a fruit cake like Jackson to finally get reports on doctors prescribing wrongful drugs. When millions of others have died the same way. And nothing was reported. I also liked how his family took it. Faking the tears, promoting record labels, money money spotlight.

We swim in fashion lake.

And have drowned from the glitter.

I open my first beer of the morning and look out the window. Open a can of tuna for a stray cat and exhale the stagnant wine on my breath from the night before.

October, '09

The coffee is real good today. A small feeling of indifference as I look at my unloaded pack laying on the floor. With all my findings from the road scattered like they found a new home. But they will never love you like I do. Looking through pictures from the road. And good jams flowing through the speakers.

I still can't help but look through my old travel logs. I ran up on one that I haven't posted yet. It was a smaller one a 4.5x3.25 in / 11.4x8.2 cm notepad. It was easier to get to, I guess to take time from grabbing my other one that stayed snugged tight in my pack.

It's mostly filled with poetry, blood stains and drunk babble. I got a opportunity to move to South Philly and I am. All I gotta do is fix a car up that was once my grandmothers. So does this mean no more train hopping and hitch hiking? No.

Just something different I guess. After all I was always good with change.

SO FAR BEHIND YOU THINK YOU ARE AHEAD. 8/6/09 - 8/29/09

8/06/09
S.T. Augustine, FL

The bastards hung me in the spring of '25.

Once again, a lot has happened. I got an amazing ride from Birmingham to Chipley, Fl. His name was Mike from Nashville. Really down to earth person. Just simply amazing.

Also stayed with a mother and daughter in a hotel room in Tallahassee, FL and that was pretty cool. I was kind of a dick to them but whatever. Then after that got another couple rides and this lesbian couple got me a room in Jacksonville, FL and here I am. Stumbled upon a sort of a commune once again. Oh I also met another traveler named Ray. We polished off a fifth and a couple beers in the morning and that's when I met the mother and daughter.

I ate by the sea in the pouring rain. It was beautiful. Watched the tides as they hit me in the face sitting with not a care in the world except meeting up with Emma and heading back to Portland, OR to get my shit together.

But with Emma always comes trouble. I called her today to let her know where I'm at and how close I am and she pulls the whole... I haven't heard from you in a few days etc etc etc. Basically told me she lost hope and got a job. In all... she is probably just fucking someone. I'm sitting outside a abandoned RV where some of the people stay. Alone. Well.. I got Bernedette. You know the funny part? I could fucking care less. I mean, I could already be in Portland living a pretty good life in a actual place but whatever.

I'll leave in a few days or so. I need a break anyways. I need a time for thought.
____________________________________________________________________
8/29/09
Lexington, KY

SO as of now. As I sit here alone. I think everything happens for a reason and this is true. As to what it may be I dunno. But it really does.

Audrey got flown out to Pittsburgh to undergo rehab. She got on the needle again. I guess what comes around goes around.

Mike is facing felony charges at the moment for stealing. I guess to support her habits. Lost his job of five years and is on house arrest till his court date. He has been indicted to the grand jury.

Electra got her modeling career in Brooklyn. And is living happily fucking photographers.

Jennie is back in England selling heroin.

Shaun and Paiste (IN) are having a baby. And are just as happy as ever.

Ben Cross Overdosed. I never mentioned him. A good friend of mine, we ran into each other in Ocala this year.

Mouse is attending Reed College in Portland, OR.

Erick (IN) wrecked Shaun's car and is on his way back to prison. Guess thats also what he gets for getting me kicked out of Shaun's over his shit.

And Emma. The love of my life?

Well.

We met up.

I was flying a sign a couple weeks ago and I heard her voice. It was Emma. She found me. I can't believe it.I was reaching for a $20 bill this man was giving me and she came up behind me. Grabbed me harder than I've ever been grabbed before. I knew it was her. I saw her hand tats in front of me. Wrapped around me. Holding me. Then we kissed on the side of the road. It seemed like years we kissed. Her head in my shoulder saying "I found you, I found you." Almost in tears she was.

The other guys around the bridge that I talked to every day that also slept under there along with me all knew automatically who she was. Looked like a few of those old fellows were about to shed a tear as well.

A girl I was having sex with for a couple weeks named Jennie from England even knew. After all I would talk about her all the time to her. I knew she got tired of it but looked happy to say the least.

I gave the $20 back to the man as the light was about to change with a smile on my face.

We stayed there for one night and left bright and early the next day.

We didn't even sleep that night. Just looked in each others eyes. Talking. Loving on Bernedette and each other. Holding. Alive.

We got a ride pretty quick out of S.T. Augustine that day. Faster than I thought. We got picked up by a lady. Emma told her about how I traveled over 2,000 miles for her. The lady looked at us and smiled. Told Emma that if a guy ever did that for her she would marry him. I didn't want that tho. She dropped us off pretty much in the Ghetto of Jacksonville, Fl. So we merely just said the hell with it and walked the interstate.

There we got a ride from a off duty cop. It was late by the time he dropped us off. We were making our way to I-10 to get to Baldwin to hop a freight train out and ride the rails to the west coast. He took us to I-10 where we found a overpass to sleep under. That night we made love all night long. I think we slept maybe an hour at that. All she could say was I found you. I am sorry.

The next day as we got our packs together we had a disagreement on where to hitch out of. The dumbest argument ever. Needless to say we got stuck there at that spot. So we made camp again at the overpass where we made love for 9 hours or so. Within five minutes I was bitten by a brown recluse. Then a copper head came at us. We left in no time. Slept at a bus stop. We took turns so I could watch her while she slept. I didn't even sleep that night. She didn't either.

Around sunrise staff infection had already stepped in on my spider bite we were wet from rain, tired and weak.

We step up and the cops came.

Two cars.

They ran our names. She looked at me and told me that she loves me. The cop came back and told her to put her hands behind her back. Everything stopped once again. This time everything stopped.

She had a felony warrant. She asked the officer to give us a minute. He seemed not to mind.

We inserted words once again into spaces. Breath. Spaces in the air and the oncoming rain. Then it was pouring but we didn't mind. We kissed one last time. Although this one didn't seem like years. Only seconds. The cop quickly pulled her away and put her in the car. I watched as they started to pull off in the pouring rain as she muttering and mouthed the words "I love you."

"Stay Gold Travis. I love you."

That was the last time I ever saw Emma. The love of my life is gone. I stood there in the pouring rain watching as the rear end of the cruiser got smaller and smaller. Then. They were gone.

I probably stood there for a good ten minutes.

A car pulled up and asked if I was alright. Then he asked where are you going.

Baldwin.

It was on his way.

The whole ride I sat there in that passenger seat. Disillusioned. Dead inside. Gone.

He asked if I wanted a beer. It was a long ride and the more we rode the more I started to talk as the beers were coming. Before I knew it I saw the train yard. I asked to be let off there. Then he told me that they were under a tornado warning. I didn't care. Take me away. Take me somewhere far.

The man gave me $15 dollars and the rest of his beers. Also his number if the weather got worse. It was only 1:00 PM and it looked like it was 1:00 AM.

I told him thank you.

In one hour the train took off.

A week later I was in New Orleans. I lanced my leg on the train. I healed it myself. I was getting sick but I didn't mind.

Now here I sit. In Lexington, KY waiting on my mother to pick me up. But I'm actually going to hang here a few days.

But

Still writing. Exploring in my thoughts. Searching. Bernedette. Drunk calls. Keeping in touch here and there. Still thinking of you every night. Drinking here and there, I pretty much quit. Smoking. Dreaming. Patching up old wounds with new ones to be happier when I do drink alone.

Start my book collection back up. No more yellow lines. No more rails.

I need a change.

A change in life. A change for you. No more spare change.

No more signs. No more cardboard.

No more handcuffs sinking in my wrists.

Its my time to shine.

So as I sit here waiting for whats next I still look at what she wrote in my journal. Along with my last hangover count which was at #127. That's another chapter to come.

She is now facing two years.

But in a sense I am to.

To Emma.

We were born to lose.

IMPERFECTIONS. EMMA'S BACK: 7/07/09 - 7/29/09

7/7/09
Indy

I have made great progress on my book.

I will be a little over halfway done today.

Nothing new. Hanging. Drinking.

Rolling smokes out of bible paper. God I feel so 16 again.


And some fucker is on my computer here at the library.
____________________________________________________________________
7/9/09

I got evicted.

But I have two weeks to leave.

I'm on my way to Portland. Mouse is on her way to get me.

It's my city come on.

I get $25 tonight for cleaning Tony's apt
____________________________________________________________________
7/29/09
Pueblo, CO

Around the 15 I made it to Louisville again. Didn't take long at all. I got Bernedette still. I love this dog with all my heart.

Man I will miss Jeff from Indy more than most family. More than anyone will know.

Emma is back in the picture.I don't know what to do. She wants me to meet her in Louisiana. There she wants to go to Portland with me. I mean she said she would come here to meet me but I don't want her traveling alone.

So I will give in once again..
____________________________________________________________________
Same spot
7/21/09

Here I am at 8AM listening to Rod Stewart and Little Anthony and The Imperials. Petting Bernies belly.

Well, I hate myself for Emma being the only girl I ever loved.

I leave today for her.
____________________________________________________________________
7/23/09
?, CO

I am so fucking pissed. Haven't ate in three days.

Worst spot ever.

I will get there tho. If it kills me.

The coffee isn't helping either.

People here are dicks.
____________________________________________________________________
7/24/09
Louisville, KY

Whoa can you say progress?

I slept with a girl that picked me up yesterday. She gave me $70 also.

All the way to S.T. Louis.

Here I am in Louisville at Mike and Annahells place. Rather drunk too.
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7/28/09
Decatur, AL

So I hung with my friends in Louisville for a few days. Did some stick and pokes etc. Fell out of a car going roughly 40 MPH. Shit hurt man. But it's all good.

This family that picked me up and is letting me stay in their garage. Pretty cool if only they had some damn booze.
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7/29/09
Birmingham, AL

Emma is so happy that I'm doing this. I guess from what she says she pretty much loves me but wasn't ready at that time. Now a few months later I am starting to get scared. I got a bad feeling about all this.
I have spent over $40 on drinks at the Mellow Mushroom on 22nd street south. Got another great ride today.

So much closer to where I need to be.

Well, I'm going to curl up to this 5th of Brandy.
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A PRELUDE TO THE END: 6/6/09 - 6/30/09

6/6/09
Indianapolis, IN

So I got off the Grey Hound in Cincy. I can't ride those damn things. There I went to the train yard and rode a freight to Indy. Well, it went to Chicago forst for a drop off and crew change. About 7 hours later I was in Indy. Plus I basically got kicked off the Grey Hound anyways. Bastards.

So here I am at my old residence in Indy. On State Ave. Shaun is still just as amazing as ever. And he is helping me through the rough times. I mean, Audrey I didn't care about at all, the girl sucked. She lied all the damn time, and no matter what she says she has never ridden a freight train. That's just all there is to it, hearing her talk about them is like hearing me talk about relationships and pop country.

It's just the Mike deal. Damn we were best friends for the longest of time.

But I am here.

Are you there? Turn me on!

Plus I got a couple house shows coming up, just me and this busted ass guitar.
____________________________________________________________________
6/13/09
Indianapolis, IN

Went to Chicago a few days ago, hitched there with my good friend Haley.

Played a house show, drank and met some girl?

Also rode some sweet Chopper Bikes.

Played a show last night at Jaxon's place. It was pretty fun. Me and my new accordion player. She's fun.

I'm now watching Shaun eat corn. I wonder what the hell he is thinking now, or does he know I'm staring at him??

Oh I am starting to feel better and all, I guess being around good company and all.
____________________________________________________________________
6/27/09
Indianapolis, IN

Well well well

We will talk later.

A lot has changed once again. I got kicked out of Shaun's place. Fuck Erick.

Me and the accordion player have been seeing each other a lot. Her name is Alex. Pretty cool girl. She lets me drive her car everywhere I want?

So since I last wrote Michael Jackson died, Iran is still in turmoil.

I've been living with my pretty much best friends Jeff and Tony. over on Delaware Street pretty much downtown. Cool shit man.

Also been going to war lately. So far I think it's been Kosovo and Nam.

Inside thing between me and Jeff.

Sitting on the couch alone drinking a little.

No job. No class. I'm just a victim of society a slob.
____________________________________________________________________
6/28/09
Indy a go go

Last night was pretty fun. Theres a couch on the street right across the apt that me and Jeff go to and drink every night. Well a cop came by but was pretty damn cool. He couldn't have been a day over 22 years old.

I awoke this morning in a rare mood. What am I doing? Why do I live this way?

It's like the reason why I got into Punk Rock. It was a clashing of diversity at that point in time. Was I gay? was I straight? Am I going to be a drunk later on in life?

It was mostly to distance my self. It spoke to me and I spoke right back with a giant FUCK YOU.

To distance myself from the perverts and the jocks. The homophobes and the drug addicts.

Brain over brawn any day.

LIVE FAST DIE PUNK!
____________________________________________________________________
6/29/09
Indy

This journal is about to end oh no. We have had so many good times. I wish I could have written about all of them.

Here I sit waiting on my food stamps. They should be here today. $350.

Pretty rad.

I guess just another chapter in my life to put with the rest. I still wish I could find '07 and the '08 travel log. That would be nice.

Well, I gotta nap. A little to drunk already and its only 10AM.
____________________________________________________________________
6/30/09
Indy

Tony is back from his vacation. We are pretty ripped right now on some various things.

I'm fucking blasted drinking a 40 OZ. I can't feel shit. Damn wish I could breathe.

Which fuck it, I have nothing going for me. I might as well do drugs and drink up and shit

Well, me and Jeff are riding bikes tonight later on.
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A NEW BEGINING: 5/4/09 - 5/28/09

Pikeville, KY
5/4/09

Here we sit at Happy Days diner.

Hangover count #95

We have been here three days. Got jobs. Slept under a bridge cause we were to smashed to go anywhere. I guess we are moving in with one of my best friends Mike.

I really don't remember how or the rides here.
____________________________________________________________________
Pikeville, KY
5/7/09

No money to drink with.

I guess Mike will loan it to me, I feel awful. I think I'm gonna have a panic attack or something. I hope not another Caesar. I want to grab a hammer and smash a face.
____________________________________________________________________
Pikeville, KY
5/16/09

I'm a piece of shit.
____________________________________________________________________
Pikeville, KY
5/18/09

Audrey is a fucking whore.

We are no more. Will never be anything. The bitch can go ahead and die. I'm going back to Indy. I hope things go good for me this time. I know her and that fucking back stabbing fuck Mike are fucking I just know it. I swear I will stab him in the fucking throat if I ever see him again. But I don't know if I should have done this or not but I pissed in his grill. Pissed in his milk and orange juice. Also shit in the tank of his toilet. If they aren't fucking I'm gonna feel bad.
____________________________________________________________________
Last day in Pikeville
5/21/09

So the 18th I moved back in with mother and Clay. I told Alex what happened and I be damned he is fucking right here beside me. Waiting on Lucy to get here so we can kick it one last night.

And it is true, they are fucking. And Mike is pissed over the deal with me pissing in everything and shitting in his toilet tank. But then again. He knows not to say anything.
____________________________________________________________________
Lexington, KY
5/22/09

So second day I think, so far so good. Only one thing.... NO FUCKING RIDES!!

It is Memorial Day weekend. Shit. So we are hopping a freight out. Kicking it at a Waffle House till the rain stops.
____________________________________________________________________
Lexington, KY
5/26/09

Ummmm Alex is gone. I'm still here.

Bored but making a lot of friends. I also have a job opportunity. Hanging at Woodland Park right now watching this elderly couple eat hoping they throw something away to eat GNAR

Got a sweet Johnny Thunders shirt, leaving tomorrow tho. Hello INDY!
____________________________________________________________________
Sexi Lexy
5/28/09

Well I'm chillin at my friend Shawn's place with him a case of beer and Owen.

He is taking me to the on ramp to hitch out.

(later on that day 1ish PM)

I'm at that damn Waffle House again watching guess what.... rain.

And a refill would be fucking nice, cause I ordered coffee doesn't mean I want one cup.

OK good girl a refill.
____________________________________________________________________
Lexington, KY
5/29/09

No rides yesterday. A asshole cop pulled over and told me it was illegal to hitch hike in Lex. Bull fucking shit. Fascist fucking pig. I'd like to piss on the flag that drapes his body.

He also told me to shave this shit off my face and get a job. I got two minor dreads in my chops. They just happened.

So here I am at a Grey Hound station heading to Indy. I can't believe I am taking the dirty dog there. Drinking at the station. Pretty fucking smashed haha.

Well, I'm gonna drink some more and wait.

FUCK!

WHEN WILL I LEARN?: 4/18/09 - 4/30/09

4/18/09
Burlington, VT

So here I sit at a bar, hung with Electra. Now I'm drinking in E-Sox.

Today may suck, rain and shit.
____________________________________________________________________

4/19/09
Burlington, VT

So me, Sam and Chad got a hotel room last night. Drank our asses off and watched the idiot box.I almost got in a fight with some drunk kid on the way there.

Oh. Electra asked me to move to N.Y.C. with her. I may. I may. (8AM drinking)
____________________________________________________________________

4/20/09
Burlington, VT

So I found out that we are moving to the Brooklyn area. I didn't get the chance to talk to her yesterday, she just told me that the day before. So I entered a poker tournament that has free movie vouchers. If I win I can take her out at least.

Aww how sweet.

Wow, I am actually excited, for once well... not for once but still the girl is into me, maybe a little to into me but it will work I guess?

Easter was a few days ago, I stayed the night with her. That night was pretty rad. Man she is good.

Her mom dropped me and Sam off downtown that Sunday, Easter Sunday. We went to a parking garage and smoked a little pot and drank a few beers then went to a drop in center to eat Easter dinner. I mean we're not Christians or anything, why do I write in this journal like I'm talking to someone?? But it was just an excuse to eat.

As I was sitting there watching the homeless eat.. as I was thinking about everything. Electra, my family. I couldn't help but wonder if they were thinking of me while they were eating in the comforts of their own home.

Kinda reminds me of the story with Rodney Mullen and his wife. She was homeless, he was a pro skater. He saw her one day flying a sign and it happened with them the way me and Electra are moving.

And it scares me. To quick to soon. Well, it's 4/20, I think I'm going to get high and drink down at the Water Front. And damn it's fucking cold out. Been snowing. I like it!
____________________________________________________________________
4/29/09
Newburgh, NY

Well, umm. I guess you can say a lot can change in a matter of days. Right? I'm in New York now. I just can't help but think that things were good between me and Electra. I don't get it.

We were doing good. The weather got better. More of my friends were coming into Burlington also. Man.

What the hell?

One day changed it all.

It was a fucking awesome day tho. She just got back and showed me a pic of the place in New York. Made a great friend named Alex. Made money.. I didn't win the poker tournament.

She called me to meet her in the park, greeted me with a huge hug and a kiss. We hung out in the park and I did some sewing and drank a few beers. We talked a lot. Like we haven't seen each other in years. And she held my hand pretty much the whole time.

She had a shrink appointment at 4:30 that day. I remember Chelsea had a shrink towards the end of things. It always scared me that Electra had one. When it got around 4:15 I walked her there, we had plans to meet up at The Water Front. So to pass the time I went and grabbed a bottle of wine and a 12 pack while I was waiting. After her appointment she came to our spot. She walked with her head down which wasn't at all right. I could just feel something in the air.

She asked me to take a walk with her, to her car. We got in her car. 7 Seconds was playing. She lit a cigarette. Camel #9.

Exhaled softly.

And then she laid it on me. Hell, I already knew. I just knew. She was so damn happy when she kissed me before she walked in those damn doors. I will always wonder what that damn shrink told her. At least she told me she still wanted to fuck me. Just couldn't date me anymore. Wait we were actually an item?

Then she asked me to get some beer for her. WTF? I did it anyways. No matter how much you may hurt me I will never deny anyone of booze.

I kept her damn change tho.

I was pretty damn somber that day. I didn't really have nothing else to say to her after that. I never even took up her offer to fuck her anymore. I wanted to every day I was there but I just didn't want to see her.

But I gave in. The night after I walked 16 and a half miles to her. A long and cold walk, a very cold walk. When I got to her dads place she had to sneak me in. When I got in we kissed each other raw and she sucked my cock. I then fell asleep out of spite. I got woken up by her telling me to sleep in the barn so I wouldn't get busted so I did.

When I woke up in the barn I took a crap under the pillows on the love seat and pissed in a gas jug. Then made my escape.

That was the last time I ever saw Electra and the barn.

That day I walked the 16 miles back to downtown. Got drunk with Alex and Sam.

That day was funny tho. I ran into Mouse, Jeff, John Eugene and his lady Audrey.

And that night was fucked up.

Sam beat himself up with a log over his gf at the time Tori, I guess she fucked Chad. The next day me and Alex ran into Audrey. John had left her there in Burlington. She came up to me saying she was looking for me. I was looking at what may lie behind those clothes. And no I am not a sexist I am highly against that. I'm just a human.

So we all went and got drunk off a half gallon.

Me and Audrey hooked up then hit the road the next day.

Now we sit at a little diner in N.Y.

It's been pretty fun so far.Oh also got ran out of Barre, VT by the cops. Then the next day me, her and Alex made over $300 flying a sign. Got a room for me and Audrey and Alex got his own. Then Alex left the next day leaving just us.

Then we got adopted that day by a guy named Richie. He said "Tah Dah" all the time. Smoked a lot of weed with us and drove us to N.Y.

Also got us a room.

Now here we are in Newbugh, NY (2:15 PM)
____________________________________________________________________
?, WV
4/30/09

67 miles from Charelston, WV sitting in a small diner drinking coffee waiting on the rain to end. Got a ride last night from a trucker for 8 hours named Bob, he was awesome along with the ride.

We got dropped off in Franklin County, PA. around 7 AM the next morning. We tried for a few hours to get a ride out of there but it didn't work.

Then the cops came. I was scared. I was supposed to have already been in court up in VT and here I fucking am drinking a damn beer. Then she looks over at me after talking to them.

"They feel sorry for us, they are giving us a fucking ride!"

The older cop did a lot of hitch hiking in the past and was actually pretty cool but he still wore the badge. Hell they gave us a ride 45 miles south. We got dropped off at a rest area and within 5 mins we got a ride from a trucker with the most annoying ass dog ever. Mickey Audrey's dog didn't even like him. And that dogs a friggen pussy.

Well, here we are. A half Gallon in my pack, free food, coffee and Audrey.
____________________________________________________________________

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?: 4/09/09

Burlington, VT
4/09/09

So here I sit at one of my favorite places to stop in at in VT. E-Sox Pub. A girl just took a Polaroid Picture of me as well.

Been a while since I last wrote. A lot has happened. I honestly don't know where to start.

I left Gainesville a little over a month ago. After I left the Pink House I met up with some cool kids. One of who was Allie, we played in a band together for a little while. So me, Allie, Kara and Emma went to a Riot Grrrl show, scored some XanaX bars and went back to KAra and Allies place to get fucked up and that we did. I drank some whiskey and took the bars. Had sex with Allie, blacked out and woke up and did it all over again. That same day we went to Fresh Fest. A three day thrash fest in Tallahassee, FL.

I basically got blacked out for three days and did some shit. I dunno. Ran into my friend Joe from Louisville. That was cool and we stayed at the Shit House there. Getting back was pretty shitty I remember, we had to hitch I-10. I have always hated that Interstate. And it came down to us calling our friend Austin to get us. While we waited for Austin to come we ate at a Waffle House and had coffee for two hours. Allie tried to impress me with the whole I've been here and there bullshit but I wasn't impressed.

Try me.

She is a trust fund kid, one who can get whatever she wants. So dress punk. You will never be punk. I hate that word.

The next day I was working on a new squat house beside Allie and Kara's place when Emma came up to me. It seemed like everything just stopped. Except her blinking eyes. We inserted words into the blank spaces of motion and time. Air and breath. Sky and ground. I was grounded.

We decided to take a walk and just talk and chill a bit, I was getting tired of working on a squat house anyways. I have always hated that. Fixing the doors so when the cops come you can escape through a hole you have made or putting shit up on windows. I basically had all that stuff done anyways.

As we were walking I got a call from my mother telling me that she wired my tax money to me and for me to pick it up. So yeah, things were going awesome. Emma told me to give the hammer and nails back, come stay with her at her place. So I did. I got my cash, a half gallon or two, some bars and a little food for the both of us. That night she read my poetry. Kissed me raw in that doorway. I guess she liked my poetry? For almost two weeks I was the happiest ever I think. I would sit down at night at the writing desk she put in for me and think to myself, all these other times I thought I was in love was just a prepubescent curse I have been bestowed upon. No more Chelsea's, Amy's or whatever they were. It's just Emma.

Well... I never want another Emma again.

Woke up one morning broke. All my money was gone. Empty bottles everywhere. Butts everywhere. Then she rolled over to me and told me that it's time to go. "Why cause I'm fucking broke now?" "Give me back my damn rent money then, whats left for the remainder of the month."

She didn't. I packed my bags. Raided the fridge for what I had bought and took everything that came out of my pockets. I guess I left her with nothing.

Out of all the ugliness came beauty in the shape of new friends and I will always remember and thank them for the great feelings of embrasure. Lowgun, Anna, Robbie, Fizz, Gen, Jimmy, Joe, Alexis, Allie, Kara, Austin, Carl, Mattie, Josh, Greg, Haley was rad as shit d00d, Ian and most of all Emma. Who taught me a valuable lesson. Don't follow the heart I guess it was or something like that. I came up with a few days ago but whatever.

So after the Emma deal I left.

Stayed with Lowgun and Anna, the roof I was staying on and a couple more places till I said fuck it. No more walking these streets where I use to ride a bike and hold this girls hand. No more going to the beer store where I use to look at her outside waiting. As the blue gray smoke rolls off her lips. I shared her lips and now they have sickened me.

Then I got a straight fucking shot to Lexington, KY.

Did I ever mention the Vietnam vet? The one who picked me up a couple months ago and told me he didn't start pissing on women till after nam? Well, he did and it happened. Then he told me to go to Fag's Ville.

When I arrived in Lex I met my good friend Amanda at a gas station, I stayed there with her and Atom for a couple days. I was in the process of moving in with them. I met my mother a couple days later and hung with her a bit to work at Civic again and save cash for Lexington. She was doing great. Her and Clay are happy and thats good. Hung with a few friends there as well.

Then Mouse called me up.

Her and Jeff were going up to New England and so a ride was offered. I took it and ran with it. Sorry Amanduh.

They got here in no time. Surprised she remembered where my moms place was.

We got shit faced that night and left the next morning. I passed out and woke up to "You guys wanna go to a keg party?"

Where Mouse?

Murphreesbourough, TN

So I awake again and there's a damn party outside. We were there I guess. A good way to top off hangover #72.

I fucking tore that keg apart. If I didn't I know by the end of the night it could have went back in a 6 pack. That's a fact.

I don't remember a lot from the next day except Tiffany. Cute.

And once again I was gone. Shaky as all hell some guy reached me a Pint of Whiskey saying, "One of the kids you rode with said you might need this when you wake up." Hangover #73

Then that day was a blur.

I awoke and this day I do remember. When I awoke I flipped my Travel Journal here over and saw #74. I was right.

I tried to get a smoke from Jeff that he was smoking but couldn't grab it, he held my hand to reach it to me and a beer was put in the other one from Mouse. The day started off drunk and ended drunk. We went to fly a sign to make beer/whiskey money but the cops were quick to act. But we made enough to do what we needed to do. Went to the store and got our stuff for the night. Came back to that Commune and there Tiffany was, apparently she was waiting on me to get back. I saw a face that I could remember. From the distance tho I couldn't tell. After getting closer to it I called out "Cricket, you Mother Fucker" This guy is insane. What the hell is he doing here. I guess a few of the guys from the commune saw him hitching and brought him back to the commune.

Great.

Later on that night I grabbed my half gallon and went to myself. Tiffany walked over to me and sat beside me. We talked for a bit and one thing led to another. Then I awoke. Mouse standing over me. Wet as hell.

"It's time to go she said" and Tiffany was gone.

I'm real happy to have been there tho, I met some great people. At least I know I can go back at any time.

So there we were. Those yellow lines coming at us like bugs on a windshield. Grabbed a fifth and before I knew it I was in Louisville again. I guess Mouse had to grab some things she left behind.

Then we stayed with Amanduh for a night.

Then we were in Pikeville again at Mikes place for a few days, nothing unusual. Just drinking etc.

Then I was in New Orleans. I really don't remember how I got there. Well I'm guessing Mouse but shit where was I during all this?? I guess with a half gallon a day and the pills and the girls you kinda forget about things like that. Then again I was blacked out mostly. Stayed in New Orleans for a few days and did my thing there, I tried to quit drinking and had a Caesar. It was pretty scary. I've had them a couple times before over drinking but this one was bad from what they tell me. I woke up in a hospital. And escaped. I still to this day don't really know as to why I ripped an IV out of my arm. With a trail of blood leading to a fire escape I was gone and in Mouses car. Then we ventured off to Vermont.

I was going to drink myself to death. I was tired, my body was getting way to old for this and that. I needed a change and I couldn't do it on my own so that was the easiest thing I could think of.

I quit drinking water. I stayed on my half gallon a day diet. And ate a small amount every two days.

Then we made it to VT four days later. Met up with one of my best friends ever. Metal Sam. We once traveled across America in '07.

Got in a fight that night cause I saw a guy hit a girl. Broke his nose, that was cool. Plus there was blood everywhere. I really liked that part. We all hid behind a dumpster when the cops got there, of course they were looking for me and didn't mind the fact that a guy just assaulted a female. Then my damn phone rang as a cop was passing the dumpsters. I went to jail.

Got out the next day. Thanks Mousie!!

I was flying a sign yesterday. A girl came up to me. She is just amazing. Her name is Electra. We are hanging out today. I think she may like me. I can't let anything happen to me this time. Just stick to the beer and smokes there Travie.

TO FAST. TO SOON: 2/2/09 - 2/24/09

Daytona Beach, FL
2/2/09

What the hell are we doing here?

My whole goal was to come here and see Rosie. Not looking good.

The past few days I haven't got the will to write.

A couple days ago in Interlocken, FL we went to this dive bar called Litl' Caesars, well the appropriate abbreviation is Lil' but I will let it pass I guess.

But man was it fucking awesome.

Free drinks all around, they have never seen two clad looking travelers before I guess. We also burned that place down fucking hard. I think I got kicked out?

Yeah Joel confirmed it, I did. Apparently I tried to piss on the bar inside.

Day after that we got a ride fom some fucking hippie listening to Phish. Then a ride from a guy named Chris who smoked a blunt with me and let me keep another one. Then the day after that which I think was yesterday I don't remember at all.

Anyways, Rosie is sick and me and Joel are mad damn it.

Well, we're leaving tomorrow for Ocala anyways to get drunk, live off the land for a couple weeks and get fucked?

I'll miss the beach at least.
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2/14/09
Gainesville, FL

Been a few since I've wrote. Got outta Daytona the 3rd, had sex with one of Rosies friends and went to Ocala the same day.

It was fun, we lived off the land. I killed a few things with my hands that we ate. Made a camp called Camp Cryptozoo-ology.

Stayed in the Ocala National Forest for a little over two weeks I think. I mean it was pretty fun, I always made fun of Rainbow gatherings and all that jazz and I'm a don't knock it till you try it kinda guy so what the hell. Although I will never go back it was a good experience. I must say it was fun to sleep wherever without any cops fucking with you. Free food. New people. Seeing some old friends from the road. Living off the land. Dirt, dirt and more dirt. Jerked off a lot. No outside world. No capitalism. Very Posi.

And we told everyone that there were 30 ft tall Tony Danza's lurking in the forest.

Well I am in Gainesville again at the Wayward Council

Happy Lovers Day Assholes.
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2/15/09
Gainesville, FL

Last night was pretty cool. I did a poetry reading. It kinda sucked, everyone there sucked. Got a gnarly infection building up on my pinky from making Wine in Ocala. I love this place. Hanging with Joel and a new one called Isaak at the library, stomach full of whiskey. Early day.

Gnar.
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2/19/09
Gainesville, FL

Nothing new nor normal. Sleeping on roofs and drinking. Fucking and sleeping. Dumpster diving and breathing.

Found a syck squat house. It's pink. Breaking in tonight. Also going to watch my friend Chis' band Ghost Mice tonight. Oh, Nope is here. It was random as fuck haha.
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2/24/09
Gainesville.

Nope pissed all over Isaak and Emily. Man was it funny, who would have known he would sleep walk and piss on someone?

I'm actually leaving the squat tomorrow to stay at Allie's place. I recently got the gig to play guitar in her Power Violence band. It was free beer night at that bar I can never remember the name of.

And I started talking to this girl named Emma. I gotta stay away or I will fall in love again. I just know it.

WHERE IT ALL STARTED: 1/5/09 - 1/31/09

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1/5/09
Pikeville, KY

So here I sit at my messy ass cubicle counting the days and numbers and infractions till Mouse gets here to pick my ass up so we can get back on the road together. It was really nice of her to stop by and stay the night with me on her way to Mass.

Ahh man, I spoke to a woman earlier on the phone who only donates to her church. Bitch.

I still can't believe I am one of their top callers. All I do is get all agro with almost everyone I talk to and bully them into giving cash to these fascist bastards.

Oh well.. at times you gotta do what you gotta do to fill in those habits.

I need a fifth.
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?, KY
1/7/09

119 West.

I don't know where the fuck we are. All I know is I filled 16 bottles of Mountain Dew up with Natural Ice and I see a bunch of empty bottles of Mountain Dew now, I think I'm drunk.

Front Seat.

Alive.

These other kids are pretty cool except for Twitch, he can go and fuck himself.

Hungover from last night, I think that's hangover # three for this year so far.
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Louisville, KY
1/15/09

Well. Here I am alone with Trooper Mike and Annahells dog. In dire need of company. I ran into Brad Hill yesterday. Yup.

Kinda been non stop drunk lately, I guess that's why my sides hurt. Well, I'm gonna go and jerk off, drink some and write a little on the old typer.

Oh I also pissed in the vents here my first day. Luckily nobody is mad.
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Louisville, KY
1/19/09

Man what a fucking day. Went to the KY/IN line and flew a sign for a little over an hour. Made just a little over $80, got a half gallon and froze my ass off. I remember once me and my grandmother were going somewhere and saw this guy flying a sign. She told me to never be that man, to never be free I guess is what she was trying to say.

Well, I've been hopping trains and doing this and that for a few years now. Sorry G-Ma I am that man, maybe not a heart cause my mentality is a lot different then that of the kids I meet out here but in all I guess I am that man.

After all if you are not free you are flawed.

Oh, also got laid a few nights ago. It was all good till I woke upo and found her arms clutched around my little figure of a body.

Well, after a few glasses of whiskey I am afraid I may never see Joel again, we have hit it off pretty good. He has became sort of a brother to me. I might hit the road with him, then again I may stay here at this place. I have no clue.

Also miss Jaxon a lot, hell. I would set myself on fire for all that back.
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Louisville, KY
1/20/09

Woke up with a half gallon still in my hands.

Alone and still slightly drunk.

Radio static and thoughts of you.

Half empty and half full.

Maybe I'm sad? Maybe I'm still piss drunk?

Or it could just be the static on the radio.
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Louisville, KY
1/21/09

I don't think I know the day. Hangover # 15 so far.

Alcohol DT's

Bad day.

There's a fire outside.
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1/22/09

I packed my stuff up. Also think I may have pissed my pants last night?

Curled my knee. Lost my favorite pen and heading south.
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?, KY
1/24/09

Where the hell are we, I mean really? are you serious?

I know we are SW KY. 83 miles or so from Louisville.

Oh well. Got a ride pretty quick. Busted at the train yard yesterday. To drunk to ride I guess so maybe it was a good thing?

Oh also lost my damn pen again. And if we sleep outside tonight... we will die. It is roughly around 10 degrees now. So hopefully they don't kick us out of this Pilot.
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1/25/09
Atlanta, GA

Fuck FRANK!!!

Woke up wet as all hell, cold. I think I also have another nose bleed. Puonded a couple tall boys and hit the road. Got a bunch of free food from a Burger King, got kicked out of the Pilot and slept outside a Cracker Barrel

Got a ride from some born again Christan dude. whatever just give us a ride man!!!

Ran into this dude we just called Frank. He got a ride pretty quick.. so in all? FUCK FRANK!!!

At least we made it out of that shit hole in KY. A good ride tho, and thanks to that family that took us to Elizabeth Town.

Now we are in hell. Atlanta is hell!

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1/26/09
Atlanta, GA

So we slept in a park last night awoken by two cops. One said "Oh man there's two of them" hahahaha

Then we went through the whole ordeal with those asshole. After we left the park we rounded up a few tall boys. Crazy Stallions at that.

Hopefully we will get out today.
(A few hours later)

Still here, after drinking those tall boys man we have walked over ten miles. Now I'm sober and tired.

So we're sleeping under an overpass tonight. I hope I don't have to tab some bum with this crazy ass John Rambo knife haha.

I hope it doesn't rain

I also hope I don't have to cut a bum.

Off ta bed!!
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?, GA
1/27/09

Woke up to so much fog I could barely breath. Packed our bags and ventured to the on ramp. Sat with out thumbs to the sky forever.

Decided to venture off through a back road adjacent to the interstate.Met a dead end so I decided to piss, as I pulled out my cock an angel appeared. Her name was Leslie. Leslie D at that. She took us out of Atlanta at least to a truck stop 40 some miles south of Atlanta on the 75 S.

Gave us a few bucks and food, slao some smokes.... oh did I mention her dead dads last smoke? yeah she did. She also gave me her A.A. coin.

Big Dave was her fathers name, haha. I get a laugh out of this shit.I wonder if anyone else can see this lady?

Are me and Joel talking to an Angel?

And what in the hell possessed us to walk to that dead end where we just happened to meet her at a stop sign.

Anyways.. I know she saw my cock.

Now we sit in the woods behind a punched in shop where we bought beer. Now where???

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?, GA
1/28/09

What a messed up trip, no matter where we go its like we run into destiny. Anyways I'll get into that.

Walked to the beer store this morning while Joel jerked off. He also stepped in Human shit last night. Or maybe Bigfoot shit?

Got back to the little camp we made and got a good buzz. Went and flew a sign made a little over $30 in 15 mins. Then got kicked out of the Flying J.

BUT NOW WE HAVE A STRAIGHT SHOT TO GAINESVILLE, FL!!!!

A guy named Bill picked us up a hour ago, we are chilling in the bed of his truck, so far he has given us a lot of Irish Whiskey and let us drink beer back here.And he also told us he was in daytona beach the day they shut the titties down haha.

"I was there the day they shut the titties down, now at Daytona Beach at the bike shows its $100 a tit. If caught"
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1/28/09
Gainesville, FL

Well, we are here.lets see what happens?
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Gainesville, FL
1/29/09

I wonder at times when survival fell out of the minds of everyone?

All people care about is their favorite shows and everyday norm of life. Man I love it out here.Which I'm starting to get a cold, sleeping bags soaked and it rained on us for 7 hours straight. FUCK!!

Leaving for Daytona tomorrow so I can see Rosie again, she had better not still be in love with me still.

Oh. I fell off a goddamn roof last night. Broke my phone and hurt my knee. Thankfully that's all I hurt.

Looks like me and Joel are sharing a sleeping bag tonight while mine dries.

I'm drunk.
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1/30/09
Gainesville I think?

We left today for Daytona. Hung with a old friend of mine named Joe, he's from Burlington, VT... another one of my stomping grounds.

I love hearing my name from across the street in a different city and or state.

Walked so damn much today it actually hurt. Got one ride. It was this old black man named Cooper. Her gave us a couple drinks of moonshine and a hot weenie that was in his floor board, opened and had a bite already taken out of it.

We ate it.

Walked a few more miles to this shitty town where we made camp for the night. Flew a sign out in front of a store and made over $20 and a bunch of free food.

That's where the "So watcha want to eat? some fig bars, sunny d or some shit?
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1/31/09

I don't know dude. Don't ask me. My birthday is coming up.

But I really don't know right now. I got the hangover count for this month. #23.