Burlington, VT
4/09/09
So here I sit at one of my favorite places to stop in at in VT. E-Sox Pub. A girl just took a Polaroid Picture of me as well.
Been a while since I last wrote. A lot has happened. I honestly don't know where to start.
I left Gainesville a little over a month ago. After I left the Pink House I met up with some cool kids. One of who was Allie, we played in a band together for a little while. So me, Allie, Kara and Emma went to a Riot Grrrl show, scored some XanaX bars and went back to KAra and Allies place to get fucked up and that we did. I drank some whiskey and took the bars. Had sex with Allie, blacked out and woke up and did it all over again. That same day we went to Fresh Fest. A three day thrash fest in Tallahassee, FL.
I basically got blacked out for three days and did some shit. I dunno. Ran into my friend Joe from Louisville. That was cool and we stayed at the Shit House there. Getting back was pretty shitty I remember, we had to hitch I-10. I have always hated that Interstate. And it came down to us calling our friend Austin to get us. While we waited for Austin to come we ate at a Waffle House and had coffee for two hours. Allie tried to impress me with the whole I've been here and there bullshit but I wasn't impressed.
Try me.
She is a trust fund kid, one who can get whatever she wants. So dress punk. You will never be punk. I hate that word.
The next day I was working on a new squat house beside Allie and Kara's place when Emma came up to me. It seemed like everything just stopped. Except her blinking eyes. We inserted words into the blank spaces of motion and time. Air and breath. Sky and ground. I was grounded.
We decided to take a walk and just talk and chill a bit, I was getting tired of working on a squat house anyways. I have always hated that. Fixing the doors so when the cops come you can escape through a hole you have made or putting shit up on windows. I basically had all that stuff done anyways.
As we were walking I got a call from my mother telling me that she wired my tax money to me and for me to pick it up. So yeah, things were going awesome. Emma told me to give the hammer and nails back, come stay with her at her place. So I did. I got my cash, a half gallon or two, some bars and a little food for the both of us. That night she read my poetry. Kissed me raw in that doorway. I guess she liked my poetry? For almost two weeks I was the happiest ever I think. I would sit down at night at the writing desk she put in for me and think to myself, all these other times I thought I was in love was just a prepubescent curse I have been bestowed upon. No more Chelsea's, Amy's or whatever they were. It's just Emma.
Well... I never want another Emma again.
Woke up one morning broke. All my money was gone. Empty bottles everywhere. Butts everywhere. Then she rolled over to me and told me that it's time to go. "Why cause I'm fucking broke now?" "Give me back my damn rent money then, whats left for the remainder of the month."
She didn't. I packed my bags. Raided the fridge for what I had bought and took everything that came out of my pockets. I guess I left her with nothing.
Out of all the ugliness came beauty in the shape of new friends and I will always remember and thank them for the great feelings of embrasure. Lowgun, Anna, Robbie, Fizz, Gen, Jimmy, Joe, Alexis, Allie, Kara, Austin, Carl, Mattie, Josh, Greg, Haley was rad as shit d00d, Ian and most of all Emma. Who taught me a valuable lesson. Don't follow the heart I guess it was or something like that. I came up with a few days ago but whatever.
So after the Emma deal I left.
Stayed with Lowgun and Anna, the roof I was staying on and a couple more places till I said fuck it. No more walking these streets where I use to ride a bike and hold this girls hand. No more going to the beer store where I use to look at her outside waiting. As the blue gray smoke rolls off her lips. I shared her lips and now they have sickened me.
Then I got a straight fucking shot to Lexington, KY.
Did I ever mention the Vietnam vet? The one who picked me up a couple months ago and told me he didn't start pissing on women till after nam? Well, he did and it happened. Then he told me to go to Fag's Ville.
When I arrived in Lex I met my good friend Amanda at a gas station, I stayed there with her and Atom for a couple days. I was in the process of moving in with them. I met my mother a couple days later and hung with her a bit to work at Civic again and save cash for Lexington. She was doing great. Her and Clay are happy and thats good. Hung with a few friends there as well.
Then Mouse called me up.
Her and Jeff were going up to New England and so a ride was offered. I took it and ran with it. Sorry Amanduh.
They got here in no time. Surprised she remembered where my moms place was.
We got shit faced that night and left the next morning. I passed out and woke up to "You guys wanna go to a keg party?"
Where Mouse?
Murphreesbourough, TN
So I awake again and there's a damn party outside. We were there I guess. A good way to top off hangover #72.
I fucking tore that keg apart. If I didn't I know by the end of the night it could have went back in a 6 pack. That's a fact.
I don't remember a lot from the next day except Tiffany. Cute.
And once again I was gone. Shaky as all hell some guy reached me a Pint of Whiskey saying, "One of the kids you rode with said you might need this when you wake up." Hangover #73
Then that day was a blur.
I awoke and this day I do remember. When I awoke I flipped my Travel Journal here over and saw #74. I was right.
I tried to get a smoke from Jeff that he was smoking but couldn't grab it, he held my hand to reach it to me and a beer was put in the other one from Mouse. The day started off drunk and ended drunk. We went to fly a sign to make beer/whiskey money but the cops were quick to act. But we made enough to do what we needed to do. Went to the store and got our stuff for the night. Came back to that Commune and there Tiffany was, apparently she was waiting on me to get back. I saw a face that I could remember. From the distance tho I couldn't tell. After getting closer to it I called out "Cricket, you Mother Fucker" This guy is insane. What the hell is he doing here. I guess a few of the guys from the commune saw him hitching and brought him back to the commune.
Great.
Later on that night I grabbed my half gallon and went to myself. Tiffany walked over to me and sat beside me. We talked for a bit and one thing led to another. Then I awoke. Mouse standing over me. Wet as hell.
"It's time to go she said" and Tiffany was gone.
I'm real happy to have been there tho, I met some great people. At least I know I can go back at any time.
So there we were. Those yellow lines coming at us like bugs on a windshield. Grabbed a fifth and before I knew it I was in Louisville again. I guess Mouse had to grab some things she left behind.
Then we stayed with Amanduh for a night.
Then we were in Pikeville again at Mikes place for a few days, nothing unusual. Just drinking etc.
Then I was in New Orleans. I really don't remember how I got there. Well I'm guessing Mouse but shit where was I during all this?? I guess with a half gallon a day and the pills and the girls you kinda forget about things like that. Then again I was blacked out mostly. Stayed in New Orleans for a few days and did my thing there, I tried to quit drinking and had a Caesar. It was pretty scary. I've had them a couple times before over drinking but this one was bad from what they tell me. I woke up in a hospital. And escaped. I still to this day don't really know as to why I ripped an IV out of my arm. With a trail of blood leading to a fire escape I was gone and in Mouses car. Then we ventured off to Vermont.
I was going to drink myself to death. I was tired, my body was getting way to old for this and that. I needed a change and I couldn't do it on my own so that was the easiest thing I could think of.
I quit drinking water. I stayed on my half gallon a day diet. And ate a small amount every two days.
Then we made it to VT four days later. Met up with one of my best friends ever. Metal Sam. We once traveled across America in '07.
Got in a fight that night cause I saw a guy hit a girl. Broke his nose, that was cool. Plus there was blood everywhere. I really liked that part. We all hid behind a dumpster when the cops got there, of course they were looking for me and didn't mind the fact that a guy just assaulted a female. Then my damn phone rang as a cop was passing the dumpsters. I went to jail.
Got out the next day. Thanks Mousie!!
I was flying a sign yesterday. A girl came up to me. She is just amazing. Her name is Electra. We are hanging out today. I think she may like me. I can't let anything happen to me this time. Just stick to the beer and smokes there Travie.
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